May 24, 2006

Straighten Up and Lie Right

Attitudes

0  comments

Guy Kawasaki has several posts about lies. His latest is about lies that he tells. He deserves a lot of credit for that. Most of the lies in this and the other posts aren’t the kind of deceptions that lead to fraud, but rather the kind that grease the wheels of social intercourse.

If you can limit the context to non-fraudulent lies, it strikes me that some of these lies are fine – even helpful and others make me think “Guy, you’re a smart fellow you can do better than this”. Still others are most detrimental to the liar. I’ll illustrate one of each. You’ll probably need to refer to his post to make sense of this one.

Lie #4 “It’s a pleasure to speak here today” is in the first category. Not only is it true (in the sense that fiction can ring truer than fact) it’s a noble truth and if you read his explanation, you’ll see that it helps both him and the audience reach that noble truth. Lie on!

Lie #2 “I think what you’re doing is interesting, but it’s not something for us.” is in the second category. It’s an expected lie and everyone knows it’s a lie. So it’s really a missed opportunity for Guy. When he says this, he’s becoming just like everyone expected a VC to be.

To his credit he tried telling “the truth” and it didn’t serve anyone. It’s hard to hear a truth that busts your fantasy. But there is no single truth. Here’s another truth he could tell. “I wish you well but it’s not something for us.” Or he could simply say “We see a lot of proposals and we can only pursue a few. This one is not something for us.” He might even be able to recommend [GASP] a competitor who he thinks the proposal is right for. Telling the truth at a time when everyone expects to hear the accepted white lie makes you stand out from the crowd.

Lie #3 is the worst kind. The kind that’s detrimental to the liar. It’s so powerful, that Guy admits no one actually says it out loud. That’s one sign of its perversity. When you believe something that couldn’t stand the light of day you know you’re in trouble. Why is it detrimental? Well who loves a VC? No one. And this lie is why. Its hurts them economically too. Largely because they act out this lie, they don’t care that their goals are usually at cross purposes with the goals of entrepreneurs. As a result, people look to VC money as a last resort and avoid it whenever they can. This can’t be good for business.

Takeaways:

  • What lies do you tell?
  • Which should you tell more of?
  • Which should you abandon for the truth?

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About the author 

John Seiffer

I've been an entrepreneur since we were called Business Owners. I opened my first company in 1979 - the only one that ever lost money. In 1994 I started coaching other business owners dealing with the struggles of growth. In 1998 I became the third President of the International Coach Federation. (That's a story for another day.) Coaching just the owners wasn't enough for some. So I began to do organizational coaching as well. Now I don't have time to work with as many companies as I'd like, so I've packaged my techniques into this Virtual CEO Boot Camp.

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